DC™ 30 GPS dog tracking collar for the bitch

This rugged, all-weather collar has an integrated GPS transmitter and antenna that work with the Astro® 220 to ensure that your dog will never be lost again. Plus, it’s specially weighted so the antenna will always point to the sky for optimal signal.
[via Garmin.com]

If this can work with dogs, it sure can work with my girl. The effin problem with her is that whenever I call her, it takes at least three or four tries by me before she answers the call. And that's usually followed by heavy breathing or she talks as if there's a foot long cheese dog stuck in her mouth. Plus there's a dude in the background whose panting like a race horse after a race.

Now I don't wanna sound paranoid and all but I think she's having an affair. I always ask her who is that dude panting and she says that's its ambient noise, maybe from her boss. I tried tracking her using her cellphone, but it's inaccurate, I think. She works at the city and we live in the suburbs, but every query by me on her cellphone always tracks her, just a block away from our abode, located in the corner where that Enrique lives.

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