Clearblue easy fertility monitor for the unprepared

This fertility monitor actually tells when your chick is ovulating. I would recommend this for those having a hard time to conceive their first. No more manual calculations using that calendar. And I would definitely recommend this to this acquaintance of mine named Jaymen. Not for the purpose of conceiving his first, rather for the purpose of not conceiving another first.

Jaymen is what you may call a 'macho-estupido-numero-uno.' Why?

  1. Contraceptives abound for the nth decades ago and he just have no idea they existed in the first place. And he had fathered a record number of firsts in record time.
  2. He fucks any chick you serve him: the whore, the prostitute, the house-help, and the dude who lives a two-face life and at night morphs into a woman with skirts and all.
  3. He brags to everyone and anyone that he fucks everyone and anyone. Details included (the only detail he leaves out is his ass full of rashes, and, of course, the two-face life dude)
  4. He would readily fuck a 60 year old like he would readily fuck a 16 year old, except for the fact that he needs to booze to puke status the 16 year old, yet, still, would not fuck him.
  5. He brags that he gives monetary support to 18 year olds that he likes but would not fuck them until their 21.
  6. He accuses me that I fucked all of his 18 year olds and that he just wasted his hard-earned money fucking 60 years olds. And I deflowered his 18 year olds before he had a chance.
That damn, paranoid retard, WTH is the reason of his accusation? well, since I was accused then, I did fuck all of his 18's. Serves him right or me.

Now that has got to be the most record number of the word 'fuck' that appears in a post.

Fuck! It really is!

ViDtoMP3: videos to MP3 conversion tool

For those who are too lazy in doing the "oh so many" steps in video conversion, here's a dummy tool. VidtoMP3's 4 "oh so easy" steps will have you bloating that 1 terabyte HDD in no time.

And you what's also "oh so many?" The dudes that my ex fucks. And you know what's also "oh so easy?" Well, my ex that I used to fuck.

Openmoko's Neo FreeRunner is the WTG

FreeRunner is an open-source/linux based phone. It is just like what an open-source phone should be, that is, everything is open for you to tweak including the board. It supports GSM tri-band, WiFi (802.1 1b/g), BlueTooth and GPRS. Now I don't wanna sound like a fucking manual so for a full listing of the specs, click this instead. Other than that, I posted this because this phone is what all phones should be, open-source. Though the iPhone is, well, yeah, open-source in a sense after hacking it, but then you got the fucking warranty voided. Where's the fun in that? Hmmm, that makes it all fun, hack and crack the warranty.

DC™ 30 GPS dog tracking collar for the bitch

This rugged, all-weather collar has an integrated GPS transmitter and antenna that work with the Astro® 220 to ensure that your dog will never be lost again. Plus, it’s specially weighted so the antenna will always point to the sky for optimal signal.

If this can work with dogs, it sure can work with my girl. The effin problem with her is that whenever I call her, it takes at least three or four tries by me before she answers the call. And that's usually followed by heavy breathing or she talks as if there's a foot long cheese dog stuck in her mouth. Plus there's a dude in the background whose panting like a race horse after a race.

Now I don't wanna sound paranoid and all but I think she's having an affair. I always ask her who is that dude panting and she says that's its ambient noise, maybe from her boss. I tried tracking her using her cellphone, but it's inaccurate, I think. She works at the city and we live in the suburbs, but every query by me on her cellphone always tracks her, just a block away from our abode, located in the corner where that Enrique lives.

My fave of the weirdest accidents

DarkRoastedBlend came up with a list of weirdest accidents and this happens to be one of my fave.

Imagine watching the latest installment of Iron Man which happens to be on top of my list of comic-book heroes thanks to that Robert Downey starrer and then just when the ark reactor is about to blow..KABLAM!!! KABOOM!!! WAHPAK!!! WAGABAG!!! A truck makes it way inside the movie house. Surprises of surprises! Now that's suspension of disbelief, believably, of course.

But this has got to be my top fave.

I know there's nothing weird about it and it sure beats the hell out of me why it got listed in first place, but I still have to thank DRB for posting it. It's the chick man! Just look at her being so gorgeous in that white dress and those heels. I've always wanted my girl dressed like that. And if she can be that strong, imagine what I can or we can do with her strings, well off, that is. Now anybody out there who can hook me up with one? Damn! Me fucking rabbit-sense is tingling.